Mogwai_toejam (akktri) wrote in heaven_rpg,

62: Call Center

After working on his project for a few hours, Jason went outside for a break. He strolled down the platform, coming to a long brick building extending for blocks. He walked in a sliding glass door and saw rows of angels seated at desks, speaking into microphone headsets. Flat dish shaped objects sat on their desks, next to tablet computers.
He walked up to one of the angels and someone handed him a headset, sans microphone. A hologram of a woman appeared on the dish in front of him.
"Hello, Tara Black," said the angel. "My name is Ruben, an angel of the Lord. The reason for this communication is basically to explain why you will be spending an eternity in hell."
"There's been some kind of mistake," said the woman. "I don't belong here!"
"Actually, Tara, you do."
"Look. Rabbi Ben Zion Kravitz said that as long as I don't accept Jesus as my savior and live a good Jewish life, I am guaranteed a place in heaven. This is obviously a mistake."
"Okay," said the angel. "If we go by that criteria, I'd say you're still missing the mark. The law states that only a perfect Jew can get into heaven by their own merit."
"But I'm a good Jew! I kept the commandments! I don't belong here! You've got to get me out of here! You've got to believe me! I kept the commandments! This place isn't even supposed to exist!"
"Actually," said the angel. "Our records show several instances of idolatry, covetousness, hatred and rebellion, as well as multiple counts of murder."
"Excuse me! Murder?"
He laughed.

"This is ridiculous. I never, ever murdered anyone in my entire life! You have to let me out of here now. You have to. You have no right to keep me here. I never murdered anyone."
"Tara, you killed people in your heart. You hated them. You did not love your fellow humans, both Jews and Gentiles."
"But there isn't a law against that! That was a rule made up by Jesus and he's not-"
"Regardless of what you think about the Son of God, loving your fellow human is a core component to the majority of the commandments, the others being about loving God with all your heart, which you also didn't do."
"This doesn't make sense. It just doesn't!"
"It's perfectly clear. Your rabbi may have corrupted the meanings of scripture, but you had plenty of chances to check the facts for yourself. If you had only accepted Jesus, you would have had those sins removed. But as it stands you have to pay for them."
"This, this doesn't make sense! It doesn't make sense!"
"Saying that it doesn't make sense isn't going to make it go away, Tara."
"This doesn't make sense! Look. I did good mitzvohs. I went to synagogue every Saturday. I offered my sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving."
"Singing and prayer isn't going to make up for that affair you had with Yosef Brown in 2004."
"But I did good mitzvohs. Good mitzvoh balances out bad deeds."
"Okay, what good mitzvohs did you do?"
"I don't have to tell you that. You should know. You're an angel."
"Fine. Nothing you have done is good enough to overcome your sins."
"You're just saying that."
"Want an example?"
"Okay, what about driving your younger sister into drug abuse?" He related a sordid tale about how Tara verbally abused her sister day in and day out until she turned to drugs.
"But I did good mitzvoh! I gave to charity!"
"Which incidentally is another of your faults. You snub the poor. The Israeli army is not a charity."
"What about Yom Kippur?"
"What about it? The temple was destroyed. Besides, Jesus' sacrifice abolished temple sacrifice."
"How was I supposed to know that? No one told me that! How was I supposed to know that!"
"You had plenty of chances to learn, but you rejected the messengers."
"But they were pushing fliers! They were anti-semitic!"
"You were given free will. It's not my fault you chose to give it up to that rabbi."
"How was I supposed to know he was wrong! No one told me he was wrong!"
"Actually, many did. You just didn't believe them."
"This doesn't make sense," the woman repeated.
"You said that. It actually makes perfect sense. This isn't a contract made by some company. This is the clear, unquestionable word of God."
"This doesn't make sense!"
"Whatever you want to tell yourself, Tara. Saying it doesn't make sense won't change the facts. You are only right in your own self delusional head."
The angel pushed a button. A fire erupted around the figure.
She screamed and vanished.
A man appeared.
"Hello, Yosef Brown. My name is Ruben, an angel of the Lord. The reason for this communication is to explain why you will be spending an eternity in hell."
Depressed by the exchanges, Jason put the headset down and walked out.
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