Mogwai_toejam (akktri) wrote in heaven_rpg,
Mogwai_toejam
akktri
heaven_rpg

Forgiving

The incident where my friend criticized my story about heaven happened a long time ago. I was trying to forget it. And I forgive him. But, unfortunately, I can't help but remember it when I write stories about heaven. It's inextricably tied to the story, and that really sucks.
I don't know. Maybe it's my manic depression. I was at Bear Creek Lodge in Saint Joseph, and I couldn't sleep, and my chemically unbalanced mind kept returning to the incident. I was thinking about writing a story about heaven when the old insult popped in my mind. I couldn't sleep, so my mind was wandering. I was trying to go to my happy place, a vision of what heaven is like, when that pain intruded on my thoughts.
But it could be my manic depression. I get angry a lot, at things that happen years ago. Maybe it's because I didn't properly deal with the emotions at the time, so they keep popping up, unresolved. I tend to stuff my feelings away instead of dealing with them sometimes.
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